UrbanUpdate

As the captain of The Daily Show, Trevor Noah is required to keep strict and constant vigilance on what people seem to keep referring to as "the presidential election." Because Noah must keep his mind and body sharp enough to not only absorb such lunacy but write jokes and soothe people's minds about it, his job takes what Donald Trump might refer to as "stamina." So he's adopted a workout philosophy that's not so much about daily gym visits and hourly kale smoothies but integrating what he can into his schedule. Here's how Noah stays in peak news-skewering shape:

Trevor Noah's Fitness Secrets

1. Assign Visual Cues to Other HumansBecause daily gym visits aren't realistic anymore, Noah invented a game wherein he assigns quick-burst moves to people around the office. "When I see them, I have to do that workout real quick. With some people it's 10 squats, with others it's a few lunges. It's not something that fills my day up, but it keeps my mind on remembering what it's like to move." And yes, he does them right there, in the office. "Which is very awkward," he admits. "We laugh about it. But heart disease is also awkward, so I'm gonna go with the former."

2. Behave Like a Hyperactive ChildNoah's exercise regimen is "irregular, but consistent. What works very well for me is to find moments throughout the day where I can sneak in little workouts." In the morning, he'll grab a few pull-ups; in script meetings, he'll jump up and knock off a few squats. It's sporadic, but it has the benefit of working anywhere. "Sitting is the thing that's killing us," he says. "Get up. Read something while you're standing. Bounce around."

3. Go Full House of Pain"Jump," Noah says. "Just jump. People don't know how to jump anymore! Which sounds like a weird thing to say, but ask someone, 'When was the last time you jumped?' and people will go, 'Hmm, it's been a few years."

4. Drop These Things EntirelyNoah's move from South Africa to America brought a lot of changes, not least of which was adjusting to what Americans call food. "The food here has to much added to it," he says. "The amount of sugar and corn syrup—those are things I'm not used to." He adjusted by dropping all sugar, and some weeks cuts out all refined carbs. "Initially it's a horrible crash and you feel like you're going to die. But when you get over it, the other side of the hump is a fantastic experience. You get more energy, you're more alert, your brain works really well." And, he says, you won't even miss it. "You don't miss the food, you miss the feeling of the food. And when you have a bad day or something and you go back to it, your body rejects it so badly that you don't want to have that day again."

5. Don't Pressure Yourself Too MuchThe trick, he says, is to start this at the right time. "Don't do it when there's a lot of work, when you're stressed," he says. "Those are the times your body's gonna cave in on you. Do it when you can, and how much you can."

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