UrbanUpdate

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Illustration by Miguel Montaner

Genes work in funny ways. Neither my mom or dad have naturally bushy eyebrows, and yet here I am with straight up Eugene Levys on my face. As I get older, the brows get more pronounced, and my upkeep gets more rigorous. In college, I used a tweezer, and that worked for a while, but eventually, painfully plucking hairs one by one from my face just seemed inefficient. Nowadays, there are enough strays creeping towards the middle, that to avoid going full Anthony Davis, I’ve started doing the unthinkable—waxing.

I know, I know. Waxing is for women, or Jersey shore douchebags. But I’ve found once I got over the initial, irrational stigma, it’s actually a way better and much simpler way of cleaning up my look. Think about it, what’s worse—5 minutes of mild, self-inflicted embarrassment—or having an unattractive unibrow? Like Tom Ford said in our Project Upgrade series, "Eyebrows are facial architecture you can change without cosmetic surgery." In other words, maintaining them will make you more attractive, and why wouldn’t you want that? So, once you get over your apprehensions, here’s how to wax without ending up looking like a plastic doll (or your mom).

1. Quit Being Such a Baby. Yes, you’re going to have to walk into a nail salon. Yes, you will be one of the only men there. No, this doesn’t undermine your manhood. Get your shit together.

**2. Give Very Specific Instructions. ** You want to explain to whoever has your eyebrows in their hands that you’re not looking to re-shape them. You’re just there to get rid of the excess. Key words like "natural," "manly," and "clean-up" are your friends.

3. Brace Yourself For The Pain Train. If you still haven’t gotten over it, your notions of waxing being girly will be shattered the first time hairs are ripped off your face. It sucks. It’s painful. My eyes water up every time. But girls do this type of thing to their legs, and some of them do it to even more, um, sensitive areas! Girls are tough as hell, guys.

4. Ask For The Cooling Gel. Trust me here. Because otherwise, your eyebrows will burn like shit after it’s done. I think the gel is probably aloe, but I’ve never asked, nor do I care because all I know is that god it feels good.

5. Check the Mirror. Make sure the person didn’t turn you into a freak show. If they did, then, well, either your instructions were garbage or they’re incompetent. But chances are they’ll look fine. Better than fine. Great, even. You’ll feel like a new goddamn man. But, also check to see if they forgot any single, loose hairs that they can tweeze out. Waxing is quick and efficient, but not as exact as a tweezer.

6. Tip Well. Remember, this person basically had your life in their hands, so acknowledge that they did a good job.

7. Repeat Once a Month. Chances are, you’re now addicted to the waxing lifestyle. You’re probably wondering why the hell it took you this long to try it. You likely want to run around showing people how handsome you are. You may even pop a quick selfie with the caption "Eyebrows on fleek." (But don’t.)

Jake Woolf is a writer who has covered men’s style for over ten years and has contributed to GQ since 2014. A graduate of Parsons The New School for Design (good school, long name), he also has bylines at Robb Report, HighSnobiety, Pitchfork, and the defunct #menswear website Four Pins... Read moreWriterXRelated Stories for GQGrooming