UrbanUpdate

That moment when you first open your eyes after a big night out should not be immediately followed you hitting the snooze button and sleeping until the last possible minute. Being the guy who rushes into the office wearing sunglasses, holding an egg and cheese sandwich, and looking like a rumpled mess only gives yourself up to your colleagues (not to mention ensures you like crap for the rest of the day).

Here's what we suggest instead: put your phone/alarm on the other side of the room, drag yourself out of bed, and stay there. Then, take a second to take stock of your throbbing head and figure out just how much debauchery you were involved in last night. Now get to work fixing yourself. It’s painful at first but it actually works. After you chug a liter of water or a vitamin-replenishing drink, put something in your stomach (greasy breakfast sandwiches still apply), and taken inventory of your wallet, watch, keys, and cell phone, get into the bathroom and start the process of de-monster-ing yourself. You’re going to need a good 30 minutes in there (on top of your normal time) so hop to it.

Malin + Goetz Detox Face mask, $42, available at fwrd.com

Fight Puffy Party Face

This detoxifying mask takes only five minutes (instead of the usual 20), goes on clear, and instantly brightens and firms the skin. Put it on while you de-fireball your eyes with some Visine or deal with your contacts, then hop into the shower to rinse it off.

Anthony Sea Kelp Body Scrub, $55, available at nordstrom.com

Scrub Your Sins Away

Rid your body of signs you’ve been up to no good (hand stamps, glitter particles, what have you) with a heavy duty body scrub. It’ll wake you up in a way that no bar of soap can, leaving you borderline refreshed as you get out of the shower.

Fulton and Roark Shave Cream, $16, available at fultonandroark.com

Shave a Few Years Off

You need to shave or groom your beard today of all days. Why? Because it instantly makes you look like a man in control of his own destiny. Bonus point if you use this ultra-hydrating shave cream, which just made it into our Best of 2016 list.

Marvis Mouthwash Concentrate, $23, available at theline.com

Cure Your Dirty Mouth

Obviously, you’re going to brush your teeth but today might also be a good day to brush your tongue, floss, and use a little mouthwash too. The whole shebang. Your dry, dirty mouth could lead to some seriously bad breath if left unchecked until your afternoon meeting.

Kiehl's Age Defender Moisturizer, $52, available at neimanmarcus.com

Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate

By this point, with any luck, you feel a little less like an 80-year-old man. Take the whole thing home by giving your skin the thing it’s really begging for: moisture. Use lotion not only on your face, but on your body and hands too. Then slap on some deodorant and breathable clothes, and head out the door as a 90% functional human.

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