The Whole City of Chicago Boned After the Cubs Won the World Series
Last November, on the heels of seven incredible games and a 17-minute, extra-innings rain delay that can nearly caused Baseball Twitter to melt, the Chicago Cubs won their first World Series title in 108 years, prompting thousands of the team's long-suffering fans to spill out onto Addison Street for a euphoric, raucous celebration. Upon returning to their homes, it seems that many still-overjoyed members of the Cubs faithful looked at each other, shrugged wordlessly, and kept the party going by boning well into the night.
This month, roughly 40 weeks after the team's historic victory, Chicago-area hospitals are reportedly noting a spike in their maternity ward populations, a trend that even earned a visit from the Commissioner's Trophy and the Cubs' terrifying pantsless mascot. Sure enough, these joyful, clever, and possibly-shortsighted couples are outfitting their kids in Cubs onesies and choosing names like Addison, Theo, and Ivey—get it?—and I can't stop laughing at the images of elated new moms and dads holding their new babies, posing for photos, and tacitly congratulating each other on all the sex.
Screencap via CBS
High five!
Screencap via CBS
My favorites are Dave and Erin, who named their newborn son Theo and are quite sure that he's a baseball baby boy. Look at Dave's face when the reporter asked him when, exactly, he thinks Little Theo was conceived. He knows. He knows.
Screencap via CBS
DAVE, GRINNING: I don’t know if there’s any scientific proof, right? But we’re pretty convinced.
ERIN, GRINNING: We think that it was the night that the Cubs won. We had a lot of luck on our side. And just the right amount of champagne.
DAVE: [laughs heartily]
ERIN: [laughs heartily]
DAVE AND ERIN: [chest bump off-camera, probably]
Congratulations to the city of Chicago, to the Cubs organization, and to all of their sex-having fans.
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