Sunday Is the Horniest Day
Despite my near-constant frustration with dating apps, I could never quite bring myself to completely ditch them. Instead, I would browse casually, typically when work was slow, enjoying some light banter here and there but ultimately not meeting up with anyone. Despite my lackadaisical approach during the week, however, by the time Sunday rolled around, all bets were off. Something about the day made my fingers itch to open the app and start swipin’ with zeal. This happened reliably week after week, so I finally set out to get to the bottom of why Sundays sent me into a horny spiral.
A cursory Google search will attest to the fact that I’m far from alone when it comes to my proclivity for Horny Sundays. As to the reason so many of us are jonesing on the last day of the weekend, the theories are far ranging. Some suggested boredom, or a general desire for relaxation, as a factor. Others posited that the day sucks so much that being horny is your only option. One person even blamed it on dick-themed imagery in churches, which… okay!
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As it turns out, based on a UK survey, Sunday morning was the most common time people reported having sex, so us Horny Sunday folk are definitely onto something.
I conducted a Twitter survey to further confirm my theory. To the surprise of no one, Monday got the least votes, and Tuesday and Wednesday didn’t fare much better. That said, there were a few early-in-the-week-bone zealots. Although most of them said they used sex to counteract the shittiness of the days. Kyle, 25, said, “I’m fresh from the weekend. Sex makes my Mondays a little more bearable.” James, 33, agreed with the principle if not the day of the week. “I think Tuesday is the worst day of the week if you work a Monday to Friday, so I usually want to have sex to improve it.”
Almost everyone who advocated for the mid-work-week bang cited the name “hump day” in part of their reasoning. According to Tina, 21, “Wednesday is the G-spot of the week, right up there in the middle. The worst is over, but you’re not out of the woods, and you gotta relieve some stress.”
It seems we get hornier as the week goes on, peaking on Friday (which won the poll with 24% of the votes) and waning a bit on Saturday and Sunday before a massive drop off as the workweek begins. Thursday came in a strong second place at 23%.The anticipation of what the coming weekend might bring seems to get people riled up.
Those who reported themselves to be the most horny on Thursdays were strong defenders of the day. Dominic, 26 said, “People are getting ready for the weekend, and we all know anticipation is the thickening agent in the pudding of horniness.” One 24 year-old woman I talked to posited that the hotness of Thursdays is a holdover, “There’s something hot about going out, getting down, and frisking it up on a Thursday because of college conditioning—Thirsty Thursday lives on.”
Friday and Saturday were fairly obvious choices, simply because they offer time off work for most people. One friend championed Saturdays saying, “When you work weekdays, it's the only day you haven't worked a shift that day or will be working a shift the following day. Nothing kills the mood more than exhaustion or stress.” Can’t argue there.
But what about my beloved Sundays? Was I wrong to think that Horny Sundays were a thing? No, no I was not. Sunday held its own, tied in third place with 16.4% of the votes, although the reasoning posited by my fellow Sunday stans varied slightly from the Friday night sexthusiasts. Multiple people mentioned that they used orgasms to stave off the Sunday scaries. As Mackinzie, 24, said, “You’re trying to take your mind off of the upcoming week; sometimes you’re semi-hungover looking to feel better. There’s lots of lounging in comfy clothing and cuddling. I always have the most sex on Sundays.” Almost every single person who mentioned Sundays mentioned either fear or stress for the upcoming work week, or trying to savor the last, laziest weekend day.
Personally, I think there’s something almost existential about the horniness of Sundays. Sunday sex is there to validate that you have pleasure in your life when you’re staring down a 40-hour work week that’s really more like 52 (please stop emailing me at 11pm, Ken from the art department). Horniness itself is an affirmation that you’re still here and you still want things—hot, enjoyable, exciting things—that don’t center around pay stubs and email chains. Gettin’ down on a Sunday is about being alive and refusing to let the dread of Monday seep into your weekend. It’s the equivalent of booking a snorkeling session on your last day in Fiji, hours before you need to catch the plane.
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