How to Be Okay With Your Gawky Body
The way he tells it, Timothy Simons has always been very odd-looking. “I've always been very odd-looking,” says Simons, a.k.a. *Veep'*s universally loathed underling, Jonah Ryan. “I'm the wrong shape. I have a heavy Cro-Magnon brow. And no matter how many times I've been to the gym, I've only become more wonky.” As if that's not enough, his job entails a constant barrage of insults about his—well, Jonah's—looks. A brief selection of epithets from the show: scrotum pole, guyscraper, human scaffolding, skyscraper of shit. Oh, and this one: “You're Frankenstein's monster if his monster were made entirely of dead dicks.”
And yet Simons stays strong. Mostly. “I'm able to have a clinical detachment—like, this isn't me, it's the character they're talking about,” he says. “Except when they said Jonah has the face of a police sketch of a rapist. That's just my face.” The secret to making this kind of gawkiness work in the bedroom? Presentation, says Simons. “Either no light, or the perfect lighting,” he says. “Like, imagine the headlight of an approaching train in Kansas, so you can just see it from 30 miles away. That's my best look.”
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Jon Wilde is the Global Digital Director of GQ.XInstagramRelated Stories for GQVeepHealthBodySexHealth