Cold as Balls: Winter Workout Gear to Warm Your Junk
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Not so long ago, we at GQ Fitness extolled the virtues of soaking in an ice bath to fend off muscle soreness after a good hard workout. But what about when the workout itself is frigid? Like, how are you supposed to go for a run or spend the day skiing—or, you know, play the most important football game of the year—when temperatures are approaching those on the planet Mars?
Our preferred solution is something called wind briefs, which are essentially underwear with a windproof flap where it counts. (Actually that’s not true: Our preferred solution is a tumbler of scotch and a nice cashmere throw. But a guy can’t stay indoors forever.) To help you venture out for a little ercise in these, shall we say, sub-optimal conditions, we took three pairs of wind briefs for a test run during the recent polar vortex.
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The North Face, $40
Did Colin Kaepernick have these under his pads when he galloped down the sidelines during the NFC Divisional tilt at Lambeau? These things aren’t medical-grade compression, but they have the skin-tight feeling of Under Armour, and you can imagine playing outside in them even in deep winter. Heading out for a run with temps dropping below 20? The North FaceGTD Brief is your jam, crazy person. [#image: /photos/55828a14e52bc4b477a975b5]
Craft, $59.99
These are a few inches longer than the typical bor brief. And that extra length delivered enough warmth that we didn’t mind leaving the full lumberjack long johns in the closet. The Gore Windstopper fabric performed its job dutifully: the all-important nether regions felt no wind, even on a seven-mile run on a nine-degree evening. The briefs are super light, and an ideal base layer for snowboarders or the lunatics who bike-commute to work regardless of weather. [#image: /photos/55828a141177d66d68d522ff]
Sugoi, $45
Here we have the Cadillac of wind briefs. Sugoi’s Midzero Wind Bors are tight enough to offer proper support for an arctic flag football game, and yet comfortable enough to wear tailgating. They’re soft and plush on the inside, while still wicking sweat. We’ll be living in them until spring. Can’t wait to try ‘em in the ice bath!
Bill Bradley is a columnist at Next City. Follow him on Twitter @billbradley3.
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