The Most Powerful and Fantastic Wizard Beards, Ranked
Wizards are all-powerful beings that may or may not be walking among us. With a whisper, a hand gesture, or an incantation, they can alter the fate of the universe. But where does their power come from? Years of training? An innate knowledge of the universe and its many mysteries? No. It comes from their beard—DUH. We surveyed everything from "so twisted" in the style of Jafar, to long and flowing like Middle Earth's Gandalf. Here's how everybody shaped up.
10. Jafar's Twisted Chin Pubes, Aladdin
©Walt Disney Co./Courtesy Everett Collection
Jafar gets on this list mostly because he's bringing a little bit of his own style to his beard. It's inherently evil and snakelike, just like him. We also like to see that he's fighting for the non-gray hair out there. Grooming prowess aside, he's still a dick.
9. Lo Pan's Evil Underground Beard, Big Trouble in Little China
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA, James Hong, 1986, TM and Copyright (c)20th Century Fox Film Corp. All rights reserved.©20thCentFox/Courtesy Everett Collection
Nasty. Evil-doers stay at the back. However, we do give him some points for the meticulous attention to beard and hair length here. They're almost perfectly matched. But he loses most hygiene credibility for his crazy-ass nails. Better luck next time, you psychopath.
8. Radagast's Shitty Facial Hair, The Hobbit
©Warner Bros/Courtesy Everett Collection
In theory, this is a great and magical beard, but it's full of shit. Literally. Come on dude, you can easily have one of your nature friends clean you up.
7. Tim the Enchanter's Two Tone Face Mane, Monty Python and the Holy Grail
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL, John Cleese, 1975 montypythonholygrail-fsc19(montypythonholygrail-fsc19)Courtesy Everett Collection
What manner of man is it that can summon fire without the help a flint or tinder, AND have a dual-tone beard? Only an enchanter, and only Tim. Also, killer hat.
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6. Merlin's Ancient and Wise Mug Rug, King Arthur
THE SWORD IN THE STONE, Merlin (voiced by Karl Swenson), 1963, ©Walt Disney Pictures/courtesy Everett Collection©Walt Disney Co./Courtesy Everett Collection
Of all the dudes on this list, Merlin has the most street cred. He was battling dragons long before the Targaryeans even knew what they were, advised some of the greatest knights in history, and wrote the Magna Carta (IT'S TRUE). He set the standard for all wizards and sorcerers (maybe a few witches too) that followed.
5. Vitruvius's Face Plugs, The Lego Movie
©Warner Bros/Courtesy Everett Collection
Yes, it's a fake beard, but it looks fantastic. And he gets bonus points for his absolutely chill vibes. Vitruvius (among others on this list) definitely gets stoned.
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4. Saruman's Shiny Silver Chin Locks, Lord of the Rings
©Warner Bros/Courtesy Everett Collection
We generally hate this dude, but we're willing to overlook his shady past and focus on his grooming routine just this once. We'd never thought we'd say this, but we're a little jealous of its perfect white color. What's more is that Saruman's managed to give it a perfect shape. A magical one!
3. Dumbledore's Wise, Kind, Flowing Beard, Harry Potter
xa9;2005 Warner Bros. Entertai
As the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, it's important for Dumbledore to appear friendly, wise, and kind. Thus, his Santa-Claus-like beard is the perfect fit—not only his face shape, but personality. And we respect how he accessorizes and maintains the flow with a small chain. It's the little things.
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2. Obi-Wan Kenobi's Jedi Bristles, Star Wars
You may not think of Obi-Wan as a wizard, since he's technically a Jedi Knight, but we let him on because he's in touch with forces normal humans can't grasp. More specifically: The Force. The shorter length is a breath of fresh grooming air amongst this long and esteemed list. And any guy that wields a lightsaber automatically gets in the top half.
1. Gandalf's All-Powerful and Knowing White Hot Beard, Lord of the Rings.
©New Line Cinema/Courtesy Everett Collection
You shall not shave!
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