UrbanUpdate

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PROS

Since growing the beard, I haven’t stopped working. There seems to be a neverending number of maniacs, sociopaths, and sleazeballs that need a bearded greek to portray them.

It gives me the appearance of being manly...even when I’m crying during an episode of Bunheads.

Competing with my good friend Nick Offerman for facial hair dominance. Ron Swanson’s mustache vs. Rafi’s beard. Winner gets to bury loser in a shallow desert grave.

It’s always nice when people discover I’m a normal person and not, because of my appearance, a half crazed lunatic who may stab them with a Bic pen.

I’m guaranteed a full-on, over-the-jeans dick pat-down every time I go to the airport.

There are girls who find the beard "sexy" and "manly"....I hope.

I first grew it huge after a bad break up. Having a giant beard really distracts people from noticing you’re barely keeping it together emotionally.

I’m a unique look in Hollywood. No one ever mistakes me for another actorjust sometimes a hobo people may cross the street to avoid having to deal with.

I don’t have to waste time every morning shaving my face. And, even if I did, the beard would grow back by lunch. Gypsy curse.

CONS

Sometimes food gets stuck in it and no one tells me. Come on guys, help me out!

Strangers, often drunk, think it’s okay to touch my beard. Guess what, dummies...it’s not.

Sometimes when people touch it they say it feels like pubes...on my face...not a compliment guys.

When I lived in NYC, I was called Osama bin Laden, Osama bin Laden’s brother, and Osama bin Laden with a backpack.

In the summer, it feels like I’m wearing a wool sweater on my stupid face.

I’ve numerous times heard mothers in stores tell their children not to go near me.

Sometimes I don’t notice and it gets so big and unruly that when I catch sight of myself in a store window I mistake myself for a homeless maniac.

There are girls who find the giant beard "gross" and "creepy." I know because they tell me.

Having a giant beard scares babies.

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