UrbanUpdate

This is just one of those mishmash random updates posts because I can’t be arsed to write a proper post and so you get these bizarre gems of my overwrought brain and meandering anxiety-fueled thought trains that look remarkably like the Little Engine That Could.

Yeah. I don’t know either.

~~The Eleven~~

Yeah, it’s kinda awesome. I  just thought you should know. I mean, it’s not the Holy Grail that is the Pure Wand, but the Njoy Eleven did indeed rock my world in our little pseudo-threesome: Me, him, and The Eleven. Hey I had two cocks in two holes so it’s about as close to a threesome as I’ll be getting lately.

~~Lifestyle Changes Keep Changing~~

We’re not allowed to call it “dieting”, it’s a “lifestyle change”. I can’t say it without glaring yet, either. Anyways, I left Weight Watchers. It was giving me generalized anxiety disorder. Why? Because a “Point” is kinda vague, in a way, and I could numerically consume the same number of points over given weeks and exercise the same yet never once see similar results on the scale – shit I even went through a 2ish month plateau. And I couldn’t find a pattern – I had no idea why it was happening, I just didn’t have the control I’ve come to need. So I switched to myfitnesspal.com after seeing Sarah using it on Twitter for awhile and I can breathe a little easier. And it’s only been a week! It’s so much more straight-forward – I tell it “I wanna lose 2 pounds a week” and it says “Ok, you can have this many calories. Want more? Exercise, bitch” and so I do. It soothes the logical/scientific side of me more than Weight Watchers could.

I’m trying so hard to continually “be better”. These days I eat more fresh fruits and vegetables in one single day than I might have in a month, a year ago. Some days I go a little overboard. Today’s lunch was a huge salad – I filled up a 5-cup container with mostly lettuces and raw cabbage, and topped it with a little lunchmeat and feta. And I realized something. I ain’t doin that shit again. 1. it takes too long to chomp through 4.5 cups of greens. B. I’m too lazy for that. 3. It made my jaw sore!!!! It was like I gave a really long blowjob…..except, ya know, I didn’t. I’d have rather though!

~~Winners Notified~~

oh yeah, btw, those who were chosen to get a Durex Love Box were emailed. I’ve heard from all but two of you – Surreal227 and Mei QingTing please get back to me pronto! I’ll be mailing these out this weekend.

~~I Hate People. Specifically, Teenagers~~

I am still young enough that when I’m around teenagers, I feel like I felt back in high school. Inferior. I’ve been going to the gym, for my water aerobics classes, since about August. It wasn’t easy for my shy, introverted-around-strangers self to be in the open locker room setting and get nekkid, but I did it. Today though, I didn’t. I arrived at the gym which was a miracle – I was tired, hungry, grumpy and pissed off at my MIA best friend. But I fucking went in anyways. For some reason in recent weeks there’s been a rash of high school kids at the gym, but today was the first day that the women’s locker room was FILLED with them. There was not a free bench spot, certainly not an ounce of privacy. All these girls preening and primping at the mirrors, taking their time because they don’t give a shit about anybody else and just want to look good for the boys. And nobody at the gym who is responsible for the group being there has bothered to school these kids of fucking locker room etiquette – get in, get out. Top it off with the entire fucking locker room floor being wet because cleaning services chose that busy time to mop the entire TILE floor, and I’m walking like I’m on eggshells because Crocs get slippy on wet surfaces and I have no balance.

I gave them a few minutes. I peed in the sole empty stall because half the girls were changing in the bathrooms, and I got more pissed off by the second. Come back to my bag to find not one single one has left yet and that was IT. I stormed out. I called my husband and I had to vent to somebody even though he’s under huge anxiety because it’s finals week. My venting and yelling and swearing set him off which set me off and it has all culminated into a sobbing mess who just ordered pizza.

Sooo…..I’m hoping that I don’t engulf the whole pizza. I’m hoping I can channel this anger into a rough session of step aerobics without injuring myself so that I can lessen the negative effect this pizza will have.

You know those days when you say to yourself “I just can’t do this anymore”?

It’s one of them days.

‘Scuse me. Domino’s is knocking on my door. =/